Looking for a boy-friend or…

how to have success among guys….

By Lora Boncheva

la_rosha @ Myspace

Dear girls, as a nice person J, professional psychologist and self-employed writer I decided to share with you some of my personal and professional experience on how to find and, eventually keep, a perfect relationship with a guy. So, here are my Do’s and DON’Ts. They are all based on the first and most important thing that you should know about men – the fact that they obviously DO NOT like smart women. Smart women are scary. Keep that in mind! If you’re not so smart, that’s OK. But… if you are smart… do whatever possible not to show it. So, what can you do:

-         DO NOT ever go out without make-up! Perfect nail polish and modern clothes are essential too;

-         For some reason many people believe that blond women are stupid, so… may be it’s time for you to become a blondie too;

-         DO NOT talk with a man about politics, social issues or books…, instead of that DO talk about massages, your hair and your nails. Celebrity gossip and horoscopes are also very helpful. BUT the most success you’ll get if you talk mainly about the man him-self: how great he is, how much he means to you and how much you appreciate his company;

-         If you have a serious and respected profession… DO NOT even mention it! That can make the guy suspect that you might be a bit smarter than him which will immediately drive him away from you;

-         If your salary is pretty good… DO NOT show it in any way. Why? First, you’ll save some money by letting him show how much money he has (don’t forget to show your admiration!!) and second, … look at the previous line;

-         DO NOT give much personal information! As less he knows about you as better. This can give you some side-walk doors that you can always use as, for example an “urgent call” from a cousin that he has never heard of when you need to go out with some other guy J;

-         DO NOT call him first, DON’T write him for long time and try to look busy when he does call or write;

-         If he calls and says that he is busy tonight… DO NOT ask him why. Instead, DO always say “Great, I am too” without giving any explanation what exactly you’re busy with (he can never know if you’ll spend the night with your cat or with some other gorgeous man, so keep him alert that he might not be your only one pleasure in life);

-         DO try to delicately show parts of your body on pix or in person without letting him touch you for long long time (NOTTA BENE: I said delicately, don’t look like a whore!);

-         DO NOT forget to whisper sweet words into his ear or write love notes even if you’re not so sure that he is the greatest love of your life. Words make miracles! But also DO NOT make it too often;

-         Even if you care about him a lot DO NOT show so. For some reason most people are masochistic and are more likely to appreciate more things and people they can’t really have;

-         DO NOT be honest! Most probably the guy is not honest with you either… If one relationship is OK, then … a few are even better;

-         And after all, never EVER fall in love. You risk it to become too vulnerable…

Try my advices if you wish and share what kind of results you’ve achieved. If you’ve got them all right then at the end you’ll become a really happy bitch. But don’t worry, men LOVE bitches…

Attention: This text is just a humorous sketch and shouldn’t be taken too seriously! Practically, it contains some true statements but don’t blame me if you follow all the Do’s and DON’Ts without any success. Honestly, I’ve never followed those “rules” but… probably that’s why I’m still single J.

My main idea is to make you laugh and eventually to open a discussion on the issues that take place here. If you have some experience connected to the topic that you wish to share or if you just wish to leave a comment, please feel free to do so. I’m opened to any kind of opinions and I’ll try to answer to all…